It is unimaginable to think that three weeks ago I was here, at Miraval in Arizona. Since then, I’ve been self isolated and then quarantined in NY with my family as we all struggle with the common reality of a life threatening pandemic as well as a household overcome by COVID-19. In this blog, I will go into detail about our timeline, symptoms, protocols and more, as we’ve gotten so many caring questions from our community. Many of you are sick as well. Others are understandably fearful and most want to have all the information so you can best prepare. We get all of it. So, I want to be open and transparent. Note: I am NOT a doctor, specialist, epidemiologist or claim to be anything other than a Health Coach who now has personal experience with this virus. I am simply sharing my story in the hopes it may help others. ALWAYS consult with your doctor before doing ANYTHING, especially in this uncharted territory. Novel Corona Virus is NOVEL! Therefore, there is no definitive research on what works or does not to treat it. Consult your primary care team to check in on what works best for you and your family in this situation!
First, our timeline.
March 6th I left for Miraval Resort on a Moms Getaway with a group of my dearest friends. I left filled with angst, anxiety and nerves, but doctors made me feel comfortable with the risks of travel at that point in time. I was careful, wiped every surface, washed hands, used tissues, etc. I had a transformative, relaxing weekend with a pack of inspiring and supportive women who feel, uniquely and together, like a warm hug and safety net. Despite the space, time and support to fully enjoy and let go, I was clutched with an underlying anxiety the entire time – read our instagram post on this for more @embodywellnesscompany . I was worried I might get quarantined from my family in Arizona, not able to get home. I worried the airlines would cancel domestic flights. I felt very very far away. But, my husband urged me to go, relax, enjoy. Assured me that everything would be OK, the kids were great, we had plenty of help. And he was right.
March 9th I arrived back home before anyone woke. The feeling of anxiety lifted. I was home. We were all together. I ordered 100 rolls of TP, paper towels and kid and adult Tylenol.
March 11th I was at a birthday lunch for another close friend, surrounded by Moms who all have kids at the preschool my kids attend. We were all discussing a possible NYC lockdown. Would we stay or go? I ordered a huge delivery order of groceries to NYC and the country. At the lunch I thought I would leave the city that weekend or if schools were closed. I had been talking to my mom for the past 24h about the benefits of heading out east. By that afternoon school was cancelled, my bags were packed for 6 people plus baby gear, food, staples, toilet paper, games, and more. The car was filled to the gills.
March 12th we left the city without an extra square inch in the car. I had already ordered Thrive Market for delivery and Butcher Box for meats and Vital Choice and a delivery order of fresh food. Thank goodness! We began our period of self-isolation. Gary had to stay in NYC for a few more days to work. He said he was feeling so tired and had a horrible headache. We attributed it to immense stress and lack of sleep.
March 13th- Gary left the city to meet us. He felt exhausted and still had a bad headache. I made him sleep in the guestroom and stay away from us, just to be safe. He works on a trading floor with hundreds of people. He was taking taxis.
March 14th – Gary started to feel more sick. He had a low grade fever. I kept his isolated from us, quarantined within our home, but we still had some contact most likely: the air, doorknobs, etc. I spent more than 6 hours on the phone that night with doctors and the NY State Department of Health trying to get him a COVID test. I was rejected over and again. But I was relentless. Finally I was told he could get a test and that someone would call him in the next (unknown amount of time) with his test date. Meanwhile, I knew something was wrong and I simultaneously found a doctor I trust to give him a flu test in isolation so Gary could transmit or contract anything.
March 15th- Gary tested positive for Flu A. He was very sick by Monday. Every doctor we spoke with told us he couldn’t have both Flu A and Corona. But I knew that couldn’t be true. I kept fighting. I kept him isolated. We couldn’t get the flu either. I couldn’t handle a house filled with flu + the increased risk associated with COVID were we to contract both. I knew that perhaps the data didn’t show flu + corona. But the data was FLAWED! They were not testing anyone who came back positive for flu for Corona as well. How could there be any data showing something when they were not collecting any data? It made sense to me that he had both. His immunity was depleted. He hadn’t slept well in weeks. His stress levels were the highest I’d seen. AND he had the flu. So I pushed forward with his Corona test. He had flu-like symptoms but also a really bad backache, headaches, nausea (we thought could also be from the Tamiflu)…
March 18th – NY State Dept of Health called him with his test date. At this point. He was sleeping most of the day, coughing badly and really ill.
March 19th- Test date
March 20th- I started to feel short of breath. I thought it was anxiety/panic. I’ve never had really severe anxiety or a panic attack. It was a new feeling to me and it made sense to be feeling this way considering all that was going on in the world and in my home. The shortness of breath felt like a tightness, a pulling, a worried/guilty feeling, an inability to deeply inhale. Like panic.
March 22- Sunday evening Gary got a call from an RN with his positive Corona diagnosis. He had Flu A and Corona. Suddenly my shortness of breath made sense.
March 29th – Gary turned a corner and started to feel a bit better. Most of his symptoms were gone.
We’ve continued to self-isolate as a family and Gary remained quarantined until March 31st, when we were advised he could mix with the family again.
Meanwhile, my 5 and 3.5y have been largely unaffected. They had coughs that lasted a relatively short amount of time, which I hope was their expression of the virus and they have built up some immunity and antibodies that will help them going forward. We were unable to get them tested, so I cant be sure.
My 8 month old hasn’t fared as well. Firstly, he has been awake screaming and crying relentlessly starting at 3:30 or 4:30 every night. He is so congested. He will scream, sometimes gasping to catch his breath (from crying I hope, but maybe shortness of breath?) for hours until he passes out in my arms and sleeps while I hold him until 7am. That means I haven’t slept at all for about 2 weeks. The past few days have been the worst. Sunday afternoon, March 28th, from 3:30-7:30pm he threw up 10 times until there was nothing but saliva coming out. He fell asleep for a few hours before waking screaming at 11am. I spent the next 2 hours giving him 5ml fluids every 5 minutes. I held him while he slept for a few hours and then repeated 2 hours of fluids in between his sobs. Thankfully, during the day he is happy and vibrant. As a baby, he so rarely cries at all. He is full of smiles and giggles and claps. He’s rolling around trying to crawl. He is obsessed with his big sibblings! He says “Mama! Mama!” When he sees me and he LOVES to eat!
His symptoms could seem like results of so many other things, had we not knows of COVID-19 in our household. He is getting 3 teeth right now: it could be congestion from the teeth and discomfort. He is 9 months, perhaps a sleep regression? He’s been eating new foods, maybe an allergy? Because of his exposure, however, and our self-isolation for the past 3 weeks, the pediatrician is pretty confident this is his expression of Corona. Last night I was awake with him again from 10pm onwards as he alternated between sleep and cries. His breath seemed labored and short and irregular. Perhaps that the opinion of a scared and paranoid mom? Im not sure, but I held him all night regardless to monitor him and make sure he kept breathing. So, now I’m on day three with ZERO sleep. We cannot get our 8 month old tested either. SO, I assume he has COVID, but I cant know for certain.
As for me, I am OK, relatively. I have a lot of shortness of breath, bouts of Nausea and exhaustion. BUT- I also and not sleeping!
In summary:
Symptoms:
Husband- For 21 days: Exhaustion, Severe Back Aches, Cough, low fever but only for a day or two, Nausea, Sleeping all the time, Headaches, skewed sense of taste.
8mos – Congestion, Vomiting,
5y – cough, complaining of dizziness, tired, headache, some tummy aches
3.5 y – relatively little
Me – shortness of breath, exhaustion, nausea
Our caregiver- cough, shortness of breath
It has materialized in a variety of ways among our family.
Many have told me to rest. And I’d love to. But it is out of my control. I will rest when my family is healthy.
Many have asked what I am doing to manage symptoms. I’ll let you know how we have been “treating” ourselves:
1.) Isolation. We haven’t been inside a store, public playground, populated area in three weeks. We are staying home, in the backyard, beach, walks around the neighborhood.
2.) I’ve been vigilant about vitamin c, d3, b, zinc and probiotics for my entire family. We are eating extra Manuka honey, garlic and wild blueberries (anti-viral). Adults are also taking adaptogenic mushrooms and a few other supplements, such as licorice, turmeric, ginger and omegas (all anti-inflammatory) as well as collagen peptides or bone broth. We stopped taking Elderberry due to the controversy. I’ve read trusted expert opinions in either direction, but my personal decision was to avoid amidst uncertainty.
3.) We are all staying hydrated and adults are drinking hot beverages. I’ve been making soups as well, like chicken, lentil and veggie bean.
4.) We are laughing daily, getting messy, going outside, crafting, cooking, baking, watching TV, letting the kids play and take the lead, putting on shows and dancing. My goal is to make this a happy and fun time for my 3 little kids. A time they look back on that brought us closer and made us connect in a meaningful way.
5.) Gary has been taking Tylenol and Tylenol PM when really needed for his headaches and muscle aches. He has AVOIDED all NSAIDs
6.) Baby is getting Saline spray and suction throughout the day and nebulizer at night, although he hates it.
7.) I bought a Pulse Oximeter on Amazon and I use it when I’m worried about my respiration or baby’s. So far we are at normal levels!
8.) Stocked up on staples from Thrive Market. Ordered meat from Butcher Box and fish from Vital Choice.
9.) Have more Arts and Crafts Supplies, science project ideas, baking staples than a family could use in a year!
So far, we’ve shown Corona whose boss… but many others are not as lucky. Too many are losing their lives, jobs, security, sanity. We’ve felt immense gratitude for what we do have and how prepared that’s allowed us to be- filling our freezers and pantry, stocking up on supplies which we’ve needed these past three weeks while in quarantine. We have an incredible network of friends, family and all of YOU! Wow, the love and support has been beyond imaginable. We are OK!
Recently, I find myself reflecting on time. How it seems like another reality when life was normal; ages ago and yet yesterday; a parallel universe of truth. I wonder: will we let ourselves fully go back to how it was? Could I attend an Elite NYC gymnastic birthday party with 50 kids and 100 parents again – like the one we threw for our daughter’s 5th birthday? Will we be able to take the subway without fear or fly to Italy again?
I find myself thinking a lot about fear (see a previous post on this on instagram as well) and how it is OK to feel afraid, to acknowledge the fear and then act to face and move past it. We strive to be “FEARLESS” but that’s actually not the goal. Fears are real. And VERY real right now. Recognize that feeling. Say hello and then keep going despite it. How can you ease it? how can you live WITH it? How can you be brave and courageous? How can you cope? That is what I’ve been doing (quite well, I think). Coping. I’m afraid for the health of my family. I’m afraid for family and friends. I’m afraid for the state of the world, the economy and so many people who are suffering. But I am coping so well- the kids feel safe and happy and joyous. We are well fed and well occupied and entertained. All while I am feeling all the feels. GO AHEAD AND CRY! I am. Go ahead and give extra hugs to your kids (and your spouse if you’re allowed in the same room!) Go ahead and lock yourself in the bathroom for five minutes to get some space and just BE ALONE. Whatever you need. Feel it. Express it.
We went to the beach the other day and just screamed at it. SCREAMED! AHHHHHH and it felt so good.
While at Miraval, I participated in two of their challenge courses. In one, I climbed a 35 foot pole, supported my partner on her subsequent climb and then we jumped! Harder than the climb and the shaky balance on a shoebox sized platform while I waited for my partners arrival, was the letting go of control in order to jump. Jumping meant I couldn’t rely on what I knew: my own strength and capabilities. I needed to relinquish control to the strangers on the ground to support our decent and landing. That was difficult. I knew I had the skills to climb, to balance, to withhold, But did I have the inner strength to have faith and trust? I took a deep breath. I released.
So true right now too. Can I control what I can: be prepared, have food and supplies in the house, be present for my family, stay hydrated, stay positive, stay alert. Can I let go, trust, have faith: that we are strong and healthy, that we will recover, that the world will recover, that this too shall pass, that this is temporary, that so much is out of my control and that is OK.
In the other challenge, a close friend and I climbed different 35 foot poles, 2 points of the triangle, and tightrope walked wires 30 feet above the ground to meet each other in the middle of the triangle and make it to the third post together, without falling. We went first and had no models for what to expect or how to go about the course. It was increasingly difficult because we didn’t have ropes to hold from above that made it all the way across. We needed to use our balance, strength and each other to make it to each milestone. But, we were in it together. Relying on each other let us complete the course. Communicating and staying calm. Breathing deeply and pausing to take a moment. So too am I needing others more than ever right now. Somehow in this isolation, I am more connected. Not only to my family, but also this community at large, who have rallied behind me and demonstrated selfless care and love and advice (THANK YOU!)
The two adventures were physically and mentally challenging. But more so, they were unknowns. I had never encountered a situation, feeling, sensation like them before. I didn’t know how I would respond. And I surprised myself in each one. My reactions, the difficulties, the takeaways- were all unexpected.
So too I find myself now in an uncharted, “novel” situation. A challenge more uncertain than any I’ve had before. The unknowns seem boundless: when will it end? How will we recover? What will Life resume to? How are so many getting by without incomes or support? What do I really care about? How do I keep my family and loved ones safe and happy and healthy? What now? How long? Why? What next? How?
And what I come back to again and again, is not the answers, or the questions even. It is this: you do not know how you will respond to a challenge until you are in it. You do not know how it will make you grow and change you until you’ve conquered it. Your self-learning upon reflection will surprise you with revelations about yourself, beyond yourself. Be open to these shifts and changes. Be receptive. Listen to your intuition.
So far, I’ve felt prepared. In control of what I can control. Patient. Accepting. Mad and angry. Strangely connected in a deeper way despite the isolation and distance. Satisfied and less distracted. Scared. Nauseous. In love with my family. Exhausted. Did I mention pissed off? Heart broken for all the lost lives and so many struggling. Joyous. Goofy. Delirious. Creative. Focused. Distracted. Happy. Sad. Optimistic. Depressed. Content. Restless. Liek dancing. Like curling up in a ball. Like cooking. Like eating. Like lots of ice cream and wine.
I’ve faced this horrible new reality head on and I’m proud of myself and my husband and ESPECIALLY my unbelievably amazing kids. We are resilient and adaptive and ingenious. They are hilarious, creative, positive, best friends, entertaining, never bored, brilliant.
Three weeks ago I was scaling poles and jumping off of 35 foot platforms. I was getting massages and hugging friends. I was at birthday lunches and hosting play dates and big Shabbat dinners and looking forward to ordinary things, like school drop off and ballet recitals.
Now, we are all on a very different challenge course. There is a different intense fear from that 35 foot pole, but still, we can breathe. There is a different immense unknown. And still I breathe. Let yourself face these realities and watch as you conquer, step by step, in your own way.
Ask for help! We need to support each other. Let your legs shake. Take a deep breath and still them. Use your breath to calm your nerves. It’s all about the breath. Call friends and cry. Go for a walk outside.
And one day, one day soon, we can look back at this time together and reflect at all our growth and strength and power!
